


Girls In Midgar

by purglepurglepurgle



Category: Final Fantasy VII (Video Game 1997)
Genre: Comedy, Gen, Girls Under Pressure, Homage, Humour, Mash-up, OCs - Freeform, Parody, Pastiche, bubblegum dystopia, eating disorder references, i make my own genres, jacqueline wilson, no but why did i write this, not quite a crossover but
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-19
Updated: 2020-04-19
Packaged: 2021-03-01 18:34:03
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,825
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23741608
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/purglepurglepurgle/pseuds/purglepurglepurgle
Summary: 14 year old Mellie Briggs is ready for adventure. Will year 9 be her year? Will she be cool at last? And will she ever, ever, EVER get a boyfriend?An FF7 fanfic / pastiche of Jacqueline Wilson novels, that is probably funny only to me. Riffing on the 'Girls' series, though not actually a crossover, since these characters are (just about) my own.
Comments: 4
Kudos: 4





	Girls In Midgar

**Author's Note:**

> why did i write this.

"Mellie!" Mum bangs open my bedroom door. She doesn't even knock! "Why aren't you up yet? The train leaves in twenty minutes!"

"I know, I know!" I groan into my pillow. Last night, I set my alarm for 7am. I should've had heaps of time. But I figured, one little snooze couldn't hurt. So, I snoozed. And I snoozed. And I snoozed some more. If Midgar had a competition for snoozing, I’d’ve won citywide acclaim. But in the real world, it's nearly 9, and instead of acclaim, I’ve just got mum yelling at me.

"Late on your first day of school! _Mellie_! What are your teachers going to think of us? If we can't trust you to wake up on time, we're going to have to go back to waking you up. Did you put your uniform out?" Mum fusses around me. "Where are your _shoes_?"

"Mum, it's okay..." I stumble out of bed, rubbing sleep out of my eyes.

"It is not okay!"

But eventually, I wave her off. I wash and dress and drag a brush through my hair; it gets caught in the mousy tangles, and when I pull it, the handle snaps.

"Dammit!"

I know it's just a cheap brush, but it still makes me feel rubbish. My best friend, Enya, has this perfect long sleek blonde hair, striking, like a model. And my other best friend, Briony, has this gorgeous curly rich brown hair, bouncy and alive. My hair is not curly or straight or striking or lively. It's just _frizz_. I contemplate leaving the brush in, just to add a bit of interest.

"Mellie, hurry up!"

I sigh and remove the brush. It looks like I'll have to skip breakfast, but maybe that's not so bad-- my legs jiggle alarmingly as I pound down the stairs. I'm not _fat_ , but I'm not far off. I meant to get fit this summer, really fit. I knew I was going to have to be a bit sneaky. I've always been loud about hating sport, so I thought mum and dad would never shut up about it if they saw me jogging or something like that. And the leisure centre's been closed since the plate fell. So I was going to do exercises in my bedroom each afternoon, in secret. I figured I'd emerge at the end of the summer, reborn like some kind of gorgeous slender phoenix girl, and I'd keep my method top secret. I got as far as making an exercise schedule, shading it all in different colours with my new gel pens, then on the very first day, right when I was about to start, mum and dad made me come with them to the shops. They wanted me to help them carry things. I protested, and reminded them that child labour was illegal above-plate, but they didn't care. By the time I got back, I was knackered, and I figured carrying groceries probably counted as exercise. Then the next day, Enya and Briony came round to visit, and we ended up watching Loveless 'til 11. I still tried doing a couple of star jumps after they left, but dad yelled for me to stop thumping around and making a racket. He yelled much louder than I was jumping, but that's dad for you. Then the _next_ day, I forgot all about my plan. I gave up after that.

Now, I'm regretting it. As I reach the bottom of the stairs, I pinch my side surreptitiously, trying to see if I can grab a handful of fat-- but it's hard to tell with the school jumper all bunched up in between. Either way, though, I know I'm not slim. Maybe this year I'll just skip breakfast every day. That's what Enya does, and she's thin as a pin. Though I'm not sure if I can keep it up. As I pass the kitchen, the smell of toast makes my mouth water. Just one piddly slice couldn't hurt, could it? I could always jog on the spot a bit later. And it smells SO good...

I give up, dash in, and grab a slice.

"You're still here? Mellie! You're going to miss the train!"

But Mum's wrong; I hurtle down the road and nearly die from exertion, but I catch the train, by the skin of my teeth. That's such a weird expression. Teeth don't have skin. Well, there are the gums, I guess. Do those count? As I sit down in my seat, still wheezing, sweat sticking to the backs of my knees, I run my tongue over my gums. I try to imagine what if would feel like if they were coated in skin-- what kind of skin would it be? Rough toe skin, the sort you need a pumice stone to smooth down? Or squishy earlobe skin-- what if it piled up in folds? Could you get a gum piercing? I purse my lips, imagining an assortment of studded rings battling for room in my mouth. Punk Mellie. The scariest year 9 in Midgar.

Then I notice the boy in the seat opposite is gawping at me as I gurn. Oh, help. He must think I'm a MAJOR nutter. I try to fix it, baring my teeth in a smile, but that must just make me look more crazy, because he snaps his gaze away. Crazy Mellie, Grinning Lurker of the Train. _Could_ someone lurk on a train? The staff must check them at the end of the shift, mustn't they? Send the roboguards up and down... I guess they'd chase me off, zap me with a bolt spell or two... I start imagining the confrontation in great detail, picturing myself in one of those snazzy armlets that absorbs lightning, then catch myself-- oh, help, I really am crazy...

We pass the ID check, and draw up to sector 01. Mum and dad never shut up about how they're paying heaps so I can go to I can go to a 'fancy' sector 01 school, though if you ask me, it's a con. _Rufus Shinra_ didn't even finish school. He got like one D in maths and bunked off to play with his dog.

_"Yes, well, Mellie, neither your mother nor I is President."_

Fat chance of that. Mum's a housewife, and dad's a business analyst. Boring boring boring. _Enya's_ mum's a fashion designer. It's so not fair. She always gets the newest clothes. Last Winterfest, she got the most gorgeous long leather coat. She complained that it made her look like Sephiroth, but I could tell she was thrilled. She spent the whole day tossing her hair and looking in the mirror. It made her look super grown up, sixteen at least. I hinted hinted hinted to mum and dad that I wanted something similar for my birthday. When the day arrived, they held out this massive parcel, in all this gorgeous silk wrapping, and I was SO excited-- until I opened it. They'd bought me a coat, all right, but it was a duffle thing. With a _fluffy hood._ When I tried it on, I didn’t look sixteen. More like six. I thanked them for it, but there was this awkward silence, and it went straight to the back of the wardrobe. I think they must've realised they'd mucked it up, because they haven't asked why I never wear it.

 _Briony's_ parents are musicians. She's always moaning that they never buy her anything, but they're still much cooler than my parents. The whole family’s musical, and kind of famous; her aunt over in Junon composed the presidential march that’s always playing on TV. Briony acts like it’s no big deal, but she’s always mentioning it. And her parents have this big attic-- dungeon, Briony calls it-- full of old guitars and keyboards and things. Briony acts like that one’s no big deal, either-- but she always shows it off when she makes new friends. It _is_ pretty fun to go up there and mess around on the instruments, even if I can’t play for toffee and I always just tap on the side of the biggest guitar, treating it like a drum.

Briony says her parents are annoying, hippy-dippy types, but I think they're super cool. They buy her incense to burn in her bedroom. Mum and dad won't _let_ me burn incense. They say I'll burn the house down. I tried, once-- a small cone in a deep jar, literally no way for it to fall over or set fire to _anything_. It was a bit of a letdown, to be honest; it was called ‘Jasmine Magic’ and I was expecting it to make my room smell all mystical and eerie, like a real Ancient’s den from one of the stories. I spent three weeks' pocket money on it. But it barely smelled of anything, just a bit burned, and it made my eyes water. No magic to be seen. And I only got to try it out for all of two seconds, because then mum walked into my room without knocking and caught me. I thought _she_ was going to combust! I got grounded for _weeks_. Enya and Briony phoned me every day, but I still felt left out, stuck in my stupid old bedroom with the stupid old flowers on the walls. It's been that way since we moved in; old Mrs. Tuesti who used to live here did the whole place like that, all floral and twee. Mum and dad repainted their room, sharpish, but somehow mine's still overrun with begonias. They're always saying they'll do it up when we get a bit more money coming in, but I'll believe it when I see it. Though if I'm honest, I don't really mind the flowers, and sometimes I even think they're kind of pretty, in the sunlight first thing in the morning-- but they're decidedly uncool. I'd hate if anyone other than Briony or Enya saw them.

I wonder how my best friends are doing now. I haven't seen either of them since the start of the holidays. Ugh, holidays.

 _Enya's_ family went on holiday to Costa Del Sol-- a week of sun and sand. When I called her, she said it was really boring, but I think she was just saying that to make me feel better. She hung up early; they were shouting to her to get back in the water. She didn't call again. And Briony's family went one better-- Cosmo Canyon! Briony couldn't call me from there, they don't have phones-- but I got a postcard. There wasn't much detail; you know what postcards are like; there's never any room-- but she said you could see every star in the sky. She said it was super pretty. It's funny because she was moaning like anything before they went; she wanted to go shopping; she was hoping for a trip to the Gold Saucer. Her parents weren't keen. They asked, wouldn't she prefer something less capitalistic? Briony said no, not really, capitalism was just fine by her if it involved a rollercoaster and fireworks and a stay in the famous Ghost Hotel, but her parents were unmoved. So off to the hills they went, and off Briony trudged after them. But now it sounds like she's enjoyed it. I'm so jealous. They sailed across the ocean! And they say that, in Cosmo Canyon, there are _talking dogs_. I would _kill_ for a family trip to Cosmo Canyon...

But no. Dad said that would look bad at work. I thought he meant it literally, like his photos wouldn't be dramatic enough, so then I suggested Wutai-- I'd seen all these cool photos, massive forests and valleys and these deep, dark red pagoda buildings, and a HUGE mountain with men carved into the side. I thought it looked AMAZING. But dad just burst out laughing.

" _Wutai_?! Do you want to put me on a list, Mellie?"

And apparently it's this big faux-pas at Shinra, because of the war; it suggests you're disloyal. I still thought that was nonsense-- it's just a holiday! But it turned out it was also super expensive. Dad said my school ate up enough of his paycheck on its own. I pictured the school mascot, a chocobo in a mortarboard, literally chomping down wads of gil, gobble gobble crunch. I said I was happy to quit my crummy school. But he was not persuaded.

"Stop being ridiculous, Mellie. You want to live the rest of your life below-plate?"

So instead, we went to Kalm for our holiday. Boring old Kalm, where we go _every_ year, with the dippy old clocktower and the shops that shut at 5. No stars at night there; it's too close to Midgar; the reactors light it all up the same dull green. Dad and mum wandered around, oohing and aahing over cobblestones and the old city walls. You'd think they'd get tired of bricks. But mum used to work as a historian, before she had me, and she and dad met at a museum, so that's why they're so obsessed with it. Lets them kid themselves they're still young. I'd've rather stayed at the inn, watching TV, but they dragged me out with them. I loitered a few paces behind. I didn't want people to see us together; mum was wearing her goofy patterned wellies and dad's combover had got stuck to his head in the rain. Style icons. Though after a while, I got a bit more into it; around Kalm there are some old legends about dragons and things. They say they used to live in the Mythril Mines. I was looking off toward the hills, imagining what'd happen if a dragon swooped down into the town square right that second, when dad turned round and saw me. He misread my expression and told me off for playing up and acting all bored. I _wasn't_ , but I didn't feel like explaining. It'd sound so childish. So I just said it wasn't my fault they'd taken me somewhere boring, and I'd never pretended to have a deep and abiding interest in stonework.

 _"Do you have to be such a_ _**teenager** _ _about it, Mellie?"_

I reminded them that I was, in fact, a teenager, so everything I did was teenagerish by definition. Dad told me to stop being a smart alec. It rained all week.

Now, I look out of the train window, as the brakes screech. We're approaching the platform. It's weird, but the sector 01 station is one of my favourite places. You can see a lot of sky, by Midgar standards. And, if you peer down through the slats in the right place, you can see _underneath_. There's a second Midgar, below the plate. They say that's where the original town stood, before they built the current Midgar on top of it. Some people still live down there. Mum and dad used to get into lots of fights when I was little, when dad got made redundant, because they were living off savings and they were scared we'd all have to move down there if we didn't get more coming in. There's no sunlight and it's always in the news-- robberies, shootings, you name it. But then dad got his Shinra job, and mum got some inheritance, and we scraped enough together for our new house, and these days we do alright. We're still in sector 05, not sector 03, like Enya's family-- but we're comfortably above-plate. But I love looking down through the slats, into the yellow-orange light below, and wondering what it's like down there. When I was a little kid, I was confused; I'd read that moles lived underground, so I thought that all the people down there were actually moles, building their houses with little mole-paws and snuffling about with their mole-noses. I knew the people above-plate sometimes sent down charity clothes, so I pictured the moles in the dungarees and hats and patterned scarves I saw poking out of the bags. I know better these days, of course. And I also now know there aren't any real moles in Midgar. Animals don't grow here. They say plants don't, either, though we always used to get these weird yellow flowers coming up through the drains in our front garden. Probably some freaky growth hormone dissolved in the sewers. Mum and dad thought they might be poisonous, so I wasn't allowed to touch them-- but they looked nice.

I step out of the train.

"Hey, Mellie!"

A smile breaks across my face. Enya and Briony have come to meet me at the station! They're the best friends ever!

"Hi, guys!" I rush over. "How are--"

"Whoa! What the hell?!" Enya's staring up. I follow her gaze, getting ready to roll my eyes-- Enya's always a bit extra; it's probably a cloud-- but then I stare.

In the sky, heading straight for us-- a meteor!

**Author's Note:**

> ... this may only be funny to an audience of 1.
> 
> some observations:  
> reading Girls In Tears as a teen: "Russell's not great..."  
> rereading Girls In Tears as an adult: "Russell is The Literal Worst"  
> Ellie's stepmother is 27 years old. I didn't even register that as unusual.  
> also really got the impression Ellie was gay and didn't realise it yet. that went over my head the first time around.
> 
> other stuff... I finished the first draft of my latest original novel project! (Well, 1.5th draft; I already cut some 10k words and rewrote around 'em) That's the one that started out as a comedy General Affairs IRL AU. I'm leaving it for a weekish and then I'm gonna read over and see if the overall shape works; if so I'll make the prose decent, and then... post it someplace, probably. But should mean I have more time to *read* fic again. :)


End file.
